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Pokémon Battle Royale
Pokémon Battle Royale is the thirty-third episode of Death Battle. It features the final evolutions of the Gen l starter Pokémon, Venusaur, Blastoise and Charizard. Description Episode 33 - Charizard VS Blastoise VS Venusaur! Did you choose the strongest starter Pokémon all those years ago? '' Interlude (*Cues "Invader - Jim Johnston"*) Wiz: For nearly 2 decades, people across the globe have struggled endlessly to make one crucial, exhausting, impossible choice. '''Boomstick: Bulbasaur, Squirtle, or Charmander.' Wiz: It's finally time to learn if the one you chose was really the strongest. Boomstick: And what better way than with their evolved forms! Venusaur, ''the pimpely plant monster. ''Blastoise, the bazooka turtle. And Charizard, the... Dragon. Wiz: For a fair assessment, we're examining maxed out wild Pokémon. For those of you nerdy enough to care, this means no special EV training, no Mega Evolutions and no TM, breed or otherwise unnaturally learned attacks. This way we'll avoid any and all player influence. Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. Venusaur (cue Setting Off from the Pokémon anime) Wiz: The first starter Pokémon evolves from Bulbasaur, to Ivysaur and finally, to Venusaur, the Seed Pokémon. Bomstick: Becoming uglier and uglier with every form. Seriously, what the hell is that thing?! Wiz: Of the three starters, Venusaur is the most well rounded and easiest to raise. In combat, it relies on it's above average Special Attack and Special Defense, or non-physical combat. (cue Rival theme from Pokémon X/Y) Boomstick: Old froggy-plant has a variety of different moves. Vine Whip's for slappin' bitches and Razor Leaf can cut through whole trees. Then there's the less action-packed skills like Sleep Powder, which is used to put foes to sleep, and take women home from bars. Wiz: Venusaur's adaptability is it's greatest asset. It can absorb health with Leech Seed like some kind of jungle vampire, or simply heal on it's own by using Synthesis. It also knows Sweet Scent, which aids the poor accuracy of the Sleep and Poison Powders. Boomstick: But why bother with Poisons and Powders when you got a super laser! Venusaur can absorb so much sun energy that he can fire the Solar Beam. Venusaur: VENUSAUUR! *Fires Solar Beam, knocking out Ash's Heracross. (cue Reflection Cave theme from Pokémon X/Y) Boomstick: When I find flowers that can do that, I might actually take up gardening. Try and pollinate now, bees! Wiz: In real life, celestially powered lasers rely on heated magnesium combustion. In order to fire, the Solar Beam's temperature needs to be over 6700 ºF. (cue Successor theme from Pokémon X/Y) Unfortunately, the Solar Beam is so powerful, it takes twice as long to perform as any other attack. As a Grass and Poison type, Venusaur is extremely effective against Water-type Pokémon. Boomstick: But keep him away from Flying and Fire types. Because as we all know, plants burn, and birds fucking hate grass. Wiz: Yet Venusaur's well-rounded skills and tricky moveset could outsmart the competition. Kanto Pokédex: Venusaur, the final form of the Bulbasaur evolution. This Seed Pokémon soaks on the sun's rays as a source of energy. Blastoise (cue Fighting Spirit from the Pokémon anime) Wiz: The second starter Pokémon evolves from Squirtle, to Wartortle and finally, to Blastoise, the Shellfish Pokémon. Boomstick: So how did this thing come about?! (Shows stage in the background that shows all the events he describes while Team Rocket's Secret Strategy plays) 'Did a turtle get really drunk one night and then come across a tank and was like "Eh, I'll put my dick in that!" Then 9 months later the tank showed up at his door and was like "BOOM, this is your's." Then he raised it out of shame until one day it evolved and all the other turtles were like "THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME!" So then they all started banging tanks?!' Wiz: Suurree, why not...? (cue Fighting Spirit again) Blastoise boasts defense over offense, using his weighty bulk to outlast and overpower foes. Like a stone firm upon the shore, he can take wave after wave of punishment. Boomstick: As poetic as that was, he won't be winning any marathons. He's almost as slow as a tortoise, which makes sense, unlike the giant guns sticking out of his back! (cue Legendary Pokémon Battle from Pokémon X/Y) Wiz: Blastoise can significantly reduce incoming damage with Iron Defense, barrel through hazards with Rapid Spin, and guard against any and all attacks with Protect. Boomstick: He can chomp foes with Bite and crack heads with Skull Bash, but most of his arsenal focuses on water power, blasting foes with Water Gun, Water Pulse, Aqua Tail and...! Bubbles! ''' Wiz: But despite it's lack of attack type diversity, Blastoise can maximize his watery weaponry with Rain Dance, a rain storm that amplifies Water type moves and blocks out the sun. '''Boomstick: But his ultimate attack is Hydro Pump, where he blasts water out of his twin cannons with enough force to accurately punch through steel at a range of 160 feet. (cue the Kanto Elite Four/Gym Battle theme from the Pokémon anime) Wiz: High pressure water jet cutters are used industrially to cut through metal with at least 55,000 PSI, or pounds per square inch. By measuring Blastoise's cannons in comparison to his size, we can tell his Hydro Pump has a power of 90,000 PSI. Boomstick: That'll get the stains off your patio! Along with, your patio and possibly house. Wiz: Blastoise is effective against Fire type Pokémon, but weak to Grass and Electric. Boomstick: And when he's not battling, Blastoise can be found training on secluded islands to strengthen his combat skills. Wiz: If it plays it's defenses right, Blastoise just might outlast everyone. Kanto Pokédex: Blastoise's strength lies in it's power, rather than it's speed. It's shell is like armor, and attacks from the hydro cannons on it's back are virtually unstoppable. Charizard (cue Pokémon I Choose You from the Pokémon anime) Wiz: The final starter Pokémon evolves from Charmander, to Charmeleon and finally, to Charizard, the Flame Pokémon. Boomstick: I would so ride that into battle! Wiz: Well, that could be tough. A full grown Charizard is only 5-foot 7-inches tall. Boomstick: WHAT?! That's bullshit! I wanna ride a dragon to burn the villages of my enemies, not hang out with it on the sofa. Wiz: Despite its size, Charizard is extremely fast and extremely powerful. Its Speed and Special Attack eclipse the other two starters' twice over, the trade off being unfortunate frailty. Boomstick: But since he can fly, it's pretty hard to get a hold of him. (cue Victory Road theme from Pokémon X/Y) Wiz: Charizard's move set is incredibly diverse, ranging from the obvious fire breath to flying, dragon, and even ghost type attacks. Boomstick: At close range, he'll always have an edge up, by using either Slash, Dragon Claw, or Shadow Claw; He can strike from above with Wing Attack or Air Slash; but his real strength lies in the flames. He'll burn and bite you with Fire Fang, trap you in a vortex of embers with Fire Spin; smash you apart with Flare Blitz... Wiz: At the cost of self inflicted recoil damage. Boomstick: ...And of course, burn you to cinders with Flame Burst or Flamethrower. Wiz: Charizard can reportedly burn through solid stone. This means his Flamethrower reaches temperatures over 2000 degrees Fahrenheit. Boomstick: Charizards are aggressive and warrior-like, and will actively seek fights with stronger opponents. Wiz: The Fire and Flying type combination makes Charizard doubly effective against Grass Pokémon, but weak to Water types. If it spends too much time in a heavy rainstorm, its flame will go out... permanently. Boomstick: But he's so fast and deadly, he might just overpower his enemies before they know what him. Unova Pokédex: Charizard, the Flame Pokémon. When competing in intense battles, Charizard's flame becomes more intense as well. Battle ( Cue Pokémon X and Y Pokémon Center) In a forest clearing on a sunny day, a wild Bulbasaur, Squirtle and Charmander are all sitting around happily. Suddenly, a claw-like machine appears and drops in a massive amount of at least 300 Rare Candies, covering up the three starter Pokémon. Then after a brief moment, bright lights start emitting from the pile of level increasing sweets. (Cue Super Smash Bros. Brawl's Victory Road) After an explosion of light which knocked away all the Rare Candies, we see three new, fully evolved, maxed out Pokémon: *A quadruped dinosaur-like creature with a large fully bloomed flower on its back, Venusaur, the Seed Pokémon. *A large, blue turtle standing on its back-legs with what appears to be water cannons sticking out from its shell, Blastoise, the Shellfish Pokémon. *And an anthropomorphic lizard with wings on its back which made it resemble a dragon with a flame burning on its tail, Charizard, the Flame Pokémon. FIGHT! The battle begins with Charizard leaping straight up into the air. He turns around and charges at Blastoise, hitting the turtle with Slash. Blastoise then uses Withdraw, going into its shell, and then follows it up with Iron Defense. Charizard then comes back, trying to attack Blastoise again, but several strikes and a Flamethrower have no effect on the Shellfish Pokémon's upped defenses. Venusaur then joins the fray, attacking both Pokémon with Razor Leaf. Blastoise takes no damage, staying in it's shell, but Charizard does take some. The dragon, ignoring Venusaur then picks up Blastoise, flies into the air and throws the Water-type to the ground. Blastoise uses Rapid Spin in midair and aims itself at Venusaur, hitting him head on. Blastoise jumps away from the dinosaur and finally comes out of its shell and attack Venusaur again with a Skull Bash, knocking the dinosaur back a bit. Charizard then makes a comeback, hitting Blastoise with a Flare Blitz, but it does no damage, and the two are locked in a power struggle, with neither one making any progress. Behind them, Venusaur uses Synthesis to heal himself, and then Sweet Scent to lower his opponents evasion. Charizard and Blastoise stop their battle, wondering what is happening. Venusaur then uses Sleep Powder to try and put his foes to sleep. The effects start to take a toll on the two, but Charizard flies up to avoid them just before they take complete effect, and Blastoise retreats to it's shell and uses a second Iron Defense before succumbing to the effects of the powder. Venusaur targets the fleeing Charizard with Vine Whip to catch the large lizard by the tail and hold him still as he prepares to fire a Solar Beam. However, with a mighty roar, the fire/flying Pokémon escapes from the Vine Whip's grasp and charges straight for Venusaur. But before he can get to him, Venusaur finishes charging and fires the Solar Beam at Charizard, who quickly retaliates with a Flamethrower. The two attacks collide, and both are equally powerful. The attacks continue to go, as Charizard is seen attempting to close in on the Grass type, but Solar Beam is beginning to get a slight edge over Flamethrower. But soon enough, the attacks created a huge explosion as the screen fades to black... (Cue Pokémon X and Y Battle! Lysandre) When the screen returns the envirnoment is a complete wasteland. Venusaur is surrounded by dust, making it hard to see. Venusaur looks around to see where his opponents have gone. He sees nothing, but then out of the dust Charizard flies in with a Wing Attack straight at Venusaur. Charizard strikes the Seed Pokémon, ripping Venusaur's flower off as it roars in pain. Charizard then retreats after completely cutting through the Seed Pokémon and fires a Flame Burst, which surrounds Venusaur. The plant monster roars as it tries to escape the flames, and struggles twice, letting out a final roar into the air before ultimately dying. The scene then switches over to a still sleeping Blastoise as Venusaur's ripped off flowers rolls by like a tumbleweed. Some dust/smoke goes into the turtle's shell causing it to sneeze itself awake. Upon coming to, he looks at his remaining adversary Charizard on the other side of the wasteland. (Cue Pokémon Legend (Kanto Trainer Battle Remix) ) The screen starts flashing, as it eventually breaks into black and a Pokéball comes down and toward the viewer, in reference to the start of wild battles in the Pokémon games. Blastoise starts off with Rain Dance to make the battle more favorable to him in the final showdown. As the rain comes down, the two Pokémon simply stand there. Then with a crash of lightning, the two roar and commence their final fight. Charizard uses multiple Slashes but on his last strike as he tries to slash Blastoise's head, the Water-type tilts it at the last second making Charizard miss and leaving him vulnerable. Blastoise uses Bite on Charizard's neck and the Fire-type begins to bleed and in agony uses Fire Spin on the ground which surrounds them in flames. Blastoise then grabs a hold of Charizard's wings and uses Skull Bash and we see blood come out from behind them, but Charizard comes back and begins to chomping on Blastoise's head multiple times, causing him to bleed heavily just above his left eye. Blastoise then lets out a roar and with all his strength rips Charizard's wings off as he is launched away from the force, landing away with a closed eye that's covered in blood, but the bleeding stops after a few seconds. As the two Pokémon try to get up from their injuries, Blastoise gets up much faster and uses this as his opportunity to attack. As Charizard gets up, Blastoise grabs his throat. Charizard tries to use Flamethrower, but Blastoise uses both hands to grip Charizard's neck, causing him to choke it back, and the attack is stopped. Blastoise bends over and begins shooting a Hydro Pump directly into Charizard's mouth. Charizard begins to distend due to being filled with all the water. Blastoise lets go of Charizard with a roar, and launches Charizard into the air. Blastoise continues to accurately shoot water into his midair opponent's mouth, until Charizard bursts out into a big, bloody mess from the water inside him. As the Rain Dance ends and the Fire Spin is extingished, Blastoise yells out a triumphant roar. The Shellfish Pokémon then proceeds to eat the remains of Venusaur's flower while Charizard's remains are shown on the ground, all covered in blood as the flame on its tail goes out. K.O.! Results (cue Total War from the Pokémon anime) Boomstick: CHARIZARD!! Noooo! Oh, and Froggy-Plant-whatever-asaur. Wiz: Charizard's greater speed allowed first attack, and its proud warrior mentality lead to striking Blastoise first. Boomstick: But Venusaur knew he had to take Charizard down right away, so everyone's favorite fire lizard was doomed, taking too much damage early on from two different angles. Wiz: But poor Venusaur didn't stand a chance against Charizard's dual typing, and the bulky defense of Blastoise was more than enough to outlast both of them. Also since Charizard and Venusaur do not naturally learn Sunny Day, they could not counter the Rain Dance. Boomstick: "But Wizard, shouldn't they all just counter each other?!" Wiz: Ah, yes, the 'rock-paper-scissors' factor is a bit tricky; grass beats water, water beats fire, fire beats grass; but ultimately the core of any Pokémon battle boils down to mathematics. Every attack does a specific amount of damage, with specific effects to specific types with a specific accuracy. Boomstick: And each Pokémon's stats are clearly displayed in the good ol' Pokedex. Wiz: So by comparing every move, effect, choice, order, and likeliness of occurrence, there are over +7000 possible ways this battle royale could play out. And out of all potential matches, Blastoise wins the majority. '''Boomstick: Even when removing type effectiveness entirely and pitting attack and special attack against defense and special defense, factoring against health and speed, the turtle tank still takes it. Blastoise ''H2Owned! Wiz: The winner is Blastoise. Trivia *This is the second episode to be a Battle Royale, the first was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Battle Royale. However, unlike that fight, this Battle Royale featured 3 combatants instead of 4. *This is the fifth Death Battle episode to pit 2 or more characters who are all animals against each other; the first 4 were the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Battle Royale, Zitz VS Leonardo, Yoshi vs Riptor, and Fox McCloud VS Bucky O'Hare; and the last one going to Godzilla VS Gamera. **This is also the third Death Battle episode to pit 2 or more animal combatants (who are all reptiles) to be pitted against each other; the first 2 were the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Battle Royale and Yoshi vs Riptor; and the last one going to Godzilla vs Gamera. *This is the sixth Death Battle episode to have 2 or more characters from their respective company of any sort to be pitted against each other; the first 5 were Goomba vs Koopa Troopa, Haggar vs Zangief, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Battle Royale, Starscream VS Rainbow Dash, and Princess Zelda vs Princess Peach, and the last one going to Ragna VS Sol Badguy. *This is the third Death Battle episode to have 2 or more characters from their respective company (Nintendo) to be pitted against each other. The first 2 were Goomba vs Koopa Troopa & Princess Zelda vs Princess Peach. *This the fourth Death Battle episode to pit 2 or more characters from their respective series against each other. The first 3 were Goomba vs Koopa Troopa, Haggar vs Zangief, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Battle Royale. *This is the fifth time that an episode of Death Battle is not sponsored by any web ads. The first four were Dr. Eggman vs Dr. Wily, Ivy vs. Orchid, Terminator vs. Robocop, and Luigi vs. Tails; the next five were Godzilla VS Gamera, Batman VS Captain America, Tigerzord VS Gundam Epyon, Ryu VS Scorpion, and Ragna VS Sol Badguy. *The Rare Candies being dropped into the field was Death Battle's way of making all three Pokemon completely maxed out without EV stats, since Rare Candies don't raise them. *This is the fourth episode where Boomstick is parodying a song, this time being the original Pokémon theme song. The first was Felicia VS Taokaka where he parodied the Sonic the Hedgehog ''(SatAM) theme song, the second was Batman vs Spiderman where he parodied the 1960's Spiderman theme song, the third was Shao Kahn VS M. Bison where he parodied the ''Captain Planet and the Planeteers theme song and the fifth was Godzilla VS Gamera where he parodied the Gamera theme song. * Charizard's death was inspired by the original ending of Batman VS Spider-Man where Spider-Man was originally going to shoot his webbing down Batman's throat until he exploded. Category:Season 2 episodes Category:Death Battles with spoofed theme songs Category:'Animals' themed Death Battles Category:Battle Royales Category:'Company' themed Death Battles Category:'Series' themed Death Battles Category:Sponsorless Death Battles Category:Fights animated by Mali